The Farnsworth Chronicles: Go East, Flamethrower

“There’s got to be something I can do to turn this shit show around. We got We got old man Torre sleeping through games, Jeter trying to keep up with that Wright kid, Boras parading A-Rod all over the place, and Jeter is too busy turning B-list celebrities into A-list gossips. The only people with someone going for them are those two Japanese guys,” Farnsy thought as he ast in his locker room after the 2007 Yankees’ exit interviews.
He sat up from the stall put his good luck t-shirt in his bag and walked to the parking lot. “I’ve got too much talent to be sitting behind Joba, if that kid had a Gatorade deal they’d give him his own flavor called ‘fire-water’ if you know what I’m saying.” Farnsworth climbed into his Ford F-350 and called dialed Duncan.
“You got Dunc’d.”
“Yo! Shells, I got a great fucking idea for this offseason. I think I figured out how those crazy Japs do it. We gotta become mother fucking samurai, man. It all came to me in a dream with Tom Cruise and that guy from Batman with the crazy mustache. The white folks were all like we’re going to take over the Japan, and the other guys were like no way man, and there were swords and guns and, oh man it was fucking rad.”
“Dude, you’re talking about that movie, ‘The Last Samurai.’ But that is still a great fucking idea. If Igawa and Matsui can do it, we could own that place. And God Damn you know how I love me some Asian women; I got the Yellow fever so bad I’m sweating just thinking about it.”
“All right, rock on. Let’s do this shit!”

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong...": The Week in Movie Quotes

Like an egregious make up call it’s time for some random musings of the last week to catch us all up. Let’s do it with some movie quotes.

The Red Wings Shutout the Pens…Twice

Herb Brooks: The Soviets win because they take that talent and use it inside a system that's designed for the betterment of the team.
Miracle (2004)

John Buccigross’ comparison of the Red Wings to the Red Army is a good one. We saw just how effective the Red Wing’s system was in games one and two. Osgood was solid in goal but was not all that tested with the Red Wings defense, anchored by Lindstrom, holding the Pens to 19 and 22 shots in the two games respectively. They killed thirteen straight penalties and even notched a short handed goal. On offense, 6 players combined for the Wings 7 total goals (each had at least one assist).

Disputed Home Run Call(s)

Robin Hood: Blinkin! What are you doing?
Blinkin: Guessing. I guess no one's coming.
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

It was the week of missed home runs calls and its become more obvious to me than ever that its time for instant replay in baseball. After Delgado’s missed home run, fans could see that it clearly was a fair ball before Willie Randolph and Joe Girardi reached the umpire to argue. Take a page from the NHL (just one page though, please) and institute video review for home run calls only. It’s a slippery slope some say. What about trapped balls? What about balls and strikes? They can equally have an affect on the game. This may be true, but the NHL has made it work (and they too have had issues with game times). There are penalties that are not penalties and pucks that may have deflected out of play. These plays also can affect the outcome of the game, but fans and players understand that the line must be drawn somewhere. For the NHL, it’s goal or no goal. For the MLB, it should be home run or no home run. Buster Olney gives some great insight as to how the system could work here.

NCAA Lacrosse Championship: Wicked Awesome

Oliver Queenan: We have a question: Do you want to be a cop, or do you want to appear to be a cop? It's an honest question. A lot of guys just want to appear to be cops. Gun, badge, pretend they're on TV.
The Departed (2006)

Being in Boston, you just have to do some Departed lines. It’s amazing the staties really do have the thickest accents. While trying to J-walk after the semi-finals game on Saturday, the statie asked me and the boys, “What is this frog-ah?” Funny stuff. Anyway, the Johns Hopkins B-team who was 0-5 this year showed up and Syracuse showed them who was boss to win the national championship. Syracuse’s intense play combined with Hopkins’ countless mistakes gave ‘cuse an easy win. Credit ‘cuse and Hopkins for great games in the semi-finals both pulling upsets against favorites Virginia and Duke. Also, credit Duke fans for chucking a Diet Coke at my head.

The Yankee Enigma Continues

Bruce Wayne: How about Mr. E.?

Alfred Pennyworth: Mystery.

Bruce Wayne: And another name for mystery?

Alfred Pennyworth: Enigma.
Bruce Wayne: Mr. E. Nygma. Edward Nygma.
Batman Forever (1995)

That’s pretty much what it comes down to for the Yankees. Derek Jeter is off to a good year offensively and then plays the worst came of his career against Baltimore on Tuesday. Jason Giambi is flirting with the Mendoza line and then hits not one but two balls into the Chesapeake Bay. The Yanks sweep the Mariners and then nearly get swept by the Orioles. Joba Chamberlin is getting converting to a starter and Ian Kennedy hits the 15 day DL. Ladies and gentlemen, I am out of answers.

Sidney Crosby Strikes Back

Phil Weston: Don't be afraid to throw the elbow. lf you break someone's collarbone, that’s a good thing.
Kicking and Screaming (2005)

The Pens finally came to play in game 3, and it made for a great game. The intensity was unmatched. There were over 20 hits by my count, 6 of which may have happened over a period of three minutes. The Pens finally abandoned the dump and chase method that wasn’t working and started attacking Chris Osgood. The Red Wings defense is good, but its hard to make a play when Crosby, Hossa, and Dupuis are streaking up the ice at you. The Pens goal scoring was not always pretty, they were able get in close and get the puck across the line. Crosby’s first goal was a great example of this.

The Booing Ban

Michael: Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever.
The Godfather (1972)

It was reported that Cubs management instructed security guards to have no tolerance for those booing or cursing Cubs left fielder Alfonso Soriano. The Cubs deny this claim, stating that ballpark rules have not changed. C’mon! How does someone make something like that up!? Maybe if Soriano didn’t blow the game for the Cubs on Sunday such measures would not have to be taken.

The Coolest Friday Chats on Earth

It's time for a very special Stanley Cup edition of Friday Chats. The finals are here and no one knows because the NHL still has that shitty deal with Versus. Fuck them. This should be a great series because these teams play an up-tempo style. So let’s break it down:

Goaltending:

Game Misconduct: M.A. Fleury is a former first overall pick and has been playing like it these playoffs, after being almost run out of town by goalie Ty Conklin, aka Conkblock. His record in championship games in not great, take a look here (go to 2:15). He’s no Marty Turco, I can tell you that much. Chris Osgood is older than dirt but not as old as Chelios or Hasek. He’s rejuvenated and has a few rings on his resume. On overall talent I’d give this to Fleury, but Ozzie’s ring is very shiny. Advantage: Push

NetCrasher: Remember how Gordon Bombay put in a cold goaltender to face the leader scoring in the Junior Goodwill Games. Well, this is nothing like that. Marc-Andre Fleury is a on a roll and when you have a hot goalie you gotta stick with him. Fleury’s looked better and better as the rounds have worn on and made some truly acrobatic saves against Philly. Fleury’s save percentage is the highest in the playoffs, and he has faced nearly one hundred more shots than Osgood. He is battle tested and will need to be as the Wings have the best offense he will face. Osgood has emerged from his back up roll to show some strong numbers, but I credit his success to the Wings’ blue line which may be the best in recent memory. Advantage: Penguins

Defense:

Game Misconduct: This one doesn’t look close. You’ve got Nik Lidstrom who may be the best defenseman since Bobby Orr. He’s not a punisher like Scott Stevens was, nor as graceful as Scott Niedermayer, but the guy NEVER makes a mistake, ever. Kronwall is healthy and is looking like Lidstrom 2.0. That’s just not fair. Brad Stuart has figured out that he’s a defenseman and is playing well in the top 4. Chelios is old, but Hal Gill is slow. The Pens D is not as talented, but with Gonchar and Letang there is some offensive punch. A lot of this match up hinges on Ryan Whitney who hasn’t played up to his potential in these playoffs. Oh man, I almost forgot about Rafalski, this isn’t really fair. Advantage: Red Wings

NetCrasher: The Wings D really is nasty from top to bottom. Like I mentioned in our last preview, Lindstrom is just a thrill to watch: flawless play, athletic ability, and great vision. I agree with Misconduct -- Kronwell is very much shaping up to be a Lindstrom look a like. The Pens D has been often over looked. All have positive plus/minus ratings with the lowest being at +4. Hal Gill, much to the disappointment of the City of Toronto, remembered how to play hockey this year. And he makes up for his slowness with great stay-at home presence and ridiculous reach. (He also is well-versed in beating the shit out of people) Also, Gonchar has a great ability to start plays in his end. Still, I have to go with the Wings. Not only do they have comparable depth to the all-star teams at their blue line, they have three defensemen with over 10 points in the playoffs. Advantage: Red Wings

Forwards:

Game Misconduct: This is where things get interesting. You’ve got Crosby and Malkin vs. Datsyuk and Zetterberg. I don’t even know what to say but the talent amongst these four is just scary, but the Wings’ players are more developed and have better two-way acumen (Selke finalists). Everyone talks about them and you know them by now so let’s move on. Detroit has some more age and experience, but the Pens have young legs and loads of offensive potential. Problem is the Wings offense is a well oiled machine; a machine that runs teams over. Much of this depends on Johan “The Mule” Franzen who missed parts of the Dallas series with concussion like symptoms. (As of today, he is questionable for game 1) The Pens have more scoring depth and are fun to watch. Advantage: Penguins

Net Crasher: No one plays two ways better than the Wings. Misconduct says Zetterberg, I say Datsyuk for the Selke but either way, for the Wings to win, the forwards will need to get back. As Misconduct said, Detroit has a well-oiled and proven system on their side and star players in Datsyuk and Zetterberg that rival Crosby and Malkin. I give the Pens the edge here because of their supporting cast. (If you want to call Hossa a supporting cast member, you may as well cast Robert DeNiro as “Bus Driver #2” in his next movie.) Dupuis is proving to be a great bonus to the Hossa trade, Staal is tied for second on the team in goals for the playoffs, and Malone is playing like he wants a big contract last year. Advantage: Penguins

Coach:

Game Misconduct: The only thing Therrien has taught these young Pens is how to take a dive just like a good French Canadian would. I clearly don’t think much of him, and Mike Babcock has this veteran team running like a machine. They’re so disciplined and systematic that it reminds me of the Soviets before they ran into a bunch of college kids in 1980. Therrien is so outclassed here, its borderline hysterical. Advantage: Red Wings

NetCrasher: Therrien certainly has a lot to prove. This is far and away his most successful season as a coach. Babcock has been there and done that. Advantage: Red Wings

Prediction:

Game Misconduct: The Wings have home-ice advantage but haven’t sold out every playoff game at the Joe, which is a little pathetic, but this being the finals fans should show up. The Penguins youth has served them well, but the Wings are just too well coached and disciplined. They won’t give in to the BS with Ruutu or Sid the Whiner.

Verdict: This has the potential to be one for the ages, but the Wings will win out in 7

Other than the Stars’ attempt at a Kamikaze Comeback, the Conference Finals were pretty uneventful. This match-up, which the NHL had been praying for since January, promises to compensate us for that. In a close series, special teams could be the difference. All season, both teams have been nearly equal on both the power play and penalty kill. Still, with Lindstrom anchoring the Red Wings blue line, I think the key match-up will be the Wings tried-and-true power play vs. the Pens penalty kill. If the Pens can kill penalties and get a strong performance out of Fleury they will be in good shape.

Verdict: Look for the Conn Smythe to go to Fleury or Malkin and look for the Pens to win in 7.

If they can do it, so can Bobby the Bear

In case you haven’t seen it, this is the greatest thing to hit youtube since… well ever. In honor of Bobby the Bear, here is a list of players less productive than Bobby the Bear. I'm fairly sure the Leafs are cooking up his contract at this every moment...

10. Rich Pilon- Rich Pilon played for both the Islanders and the Rangers and stunk up the ice wherever he went. Brett Hull once said the many of the players in the NHL couldn’t pass, shoot, or skate well at all. Rich Pilon was one of those guys.

9. Ray “Razor” Emery- A Stanley Cup finalist last year, this year Emery (I refuse to call him Razor and sully the good name of Kyle Farnsworth) was suspended more by his own team than Chris Simon was by the league. Which leads me to

8. Chris Simon- This guy’s best games are played in his head when he’s either drunk or imbibed too much peyote. This year alone he was suspended, returned to the team, left the team because of anger management issues, returned again, and was traded to Minnesota. How he was lucky enough to get a chance to play in the playoffs in Minnesota is anyone’s guess. I’m thinking he prayed to some sort of totem pole that resembles Mike Milbury and Ted Nolan. Now he’s signed to play in Russia in what is truly becoming a league to rival the NHL, HA!

7. Mike Milbury- As a player he attacked a fan in the stands and beat him with his own shoe, as a GM he traded Roberto Loungo and Olli Jokinen for Oleg Kvasha and Mark Parrish, and that may not have been his worst deal.

6. Oleg Kvasha- This guy was tall, ugly, and had a giant nose. Not to mention he was Russian. He was so bad you couldn’t even consider him a Russian enigma because he didn’t have the talent to be wasted.

Rest of the list to follow...

Ohhhh…Anthony Wright is gonna be pissed!!

The Patriots record of most wins in the regular season could be in jeopardy. No, unfortunately, Roger Goodell is not considering vacating the AFC Champion's season, but his most recent proposal makes it a little easier to tie and possible to break the regular season win’s record.

ESPN’s John “The Professor” Clayton reports that Goodell and the owners are discussing the prospect of eliminating one preseason game and adding one regular season , thus virtually eliminating the already slim chance Anthony Wright had of calling signals for the Giants (in a game) this season. But hey, would a little more Eli and a little less Anthony Wright hurt anyone?

The driving force behind the proposal is to raise even more revenue to help the league resolve its current labor disputes. The league believes the most profitable sport on the planet is not making enough money, so why not add another game?

Of course, there are some drawbacks. For one thing, regular season football would now start earlier in the year, which means players are hitting with pads and doing more strenuous practices at the height of summer. This is certainly a safety issue for players. (It also starts the beginning of fall waaayyyy before I am ready! Because any God-fearing sports fan, measures their seasons with the sports calendar. I never wear white shoes before the Masters. They’re not in season yet!). It, of course, also throws a monkey wrench into the record books. It gives players and teams one more game to reach single season records and essentially turns a 16 year career into a 17 year career. Finally, it could mean players on the practice squad not getting a fair chance to show their stuff. Perhaps Lawrence Tynes 43 yard field goal in the 4^th game of preseason was what got him spot over Josh Huston who had been kicking well. No Tynes, no overtime field goal against the Packers?

Still, these obstacles are surmountable. Careful planning and appropriate supervision will enable players to brave the heat. As for expanding the schedule, the NFL has done it before. All of the major sports have done it at least once and fans learn to deal with it. 61* eventually became just plain 61. As for the practice squad, players are promoted all the time during the season. Maybe they just won’t be on the opening day roster.

The 17 game schedule is a good thing. It’s one more glorious week of football. One more thing that can go so right or go so wrong. It allows NFL fans to see teams that they may not necessarily see every year. I don’t buy the argument that there is not enough money to go around in the NFL, but if it gets me another weekend of sitting on the couch all day in my boxers eating a meatball hero and watching the games then count me in.

Sports Century

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0sZ_oPBFr8

Check out this incredible montage that ESPN put together at the end of 1999. I just came across it myself and have already watched it twice. It does a pretty good job getting everything in there. It's got everything from Babe Ruth to John Elway to the 1983 Islanders to Tiger Woods.

The 2099 video just got a new addition last night. You gotta tip your hat to Jon Lester. Imagine being diagnosed with cancer at 22 and throwing a no hitter in the major leagues less than two years later. (No really, stop and think about that.) Way to go, Lester.

Did the 1999 video miss an important moment? What else will make the 2099 video? Post a comment or drop me an e-mail at netcrasher6@gmail.com!

In Soviet Russia Stick Control You

What’s the best way for a league to gain credibility? Bring in Chris Simon, of course. Several months ago, the New York Times printed an article claiming that the Russian Superleague would begin to challenge the NHL in terms of talent and quality of product. The article cited that many of the players in Russia were NHL stars capable of competing with the Malkins, Crosbys, and Lundqvists of the NHL. I, of course, knew better than to agree with this drivel because the players they were citing were none other than NHL castaways Alexei Morozov and everybody’s favorite former New York captain, Alexei Yashin. What the Times failed to mention was that these players weren’t good enough to stay in the NHL nor were they really wanted. Furthermore, the buildings that are hoped to compare with NHL arenas are 1/5th the size (3,000 cheering fans compared to 20,000, lemme think about that one). So now Chris Simon joins the league after an illustrious NHL career of suspensions and hooliganism. That should add some instant credibility to a league that overpays for over-the-hill athletes and has arenas smaller than most Division III gymnasiums.

More from the Blue Jay: Duke - Ohio State

Duke vs. Ohio State

When the brackets were released two weeks ago one thing that caught the eye of many was that if the top seeds held, Cornell would have a rematch with Duke in the NCAA tournament, after falling 13-12 in last years Final 4. Not to mention, the rematch would take place on Cornell ’ s home field. Sure the quarterfinal locations are determined well beforehand, and the host team will have an advantage, but is it fair to do that t o a #1? Fair or not, it ’ s something thanks to the Ohio State 15-7 defeat of Cornell that we won ’ t have to debate. Ohio State is part of the surprising GWLL which placed three teams in the tournament, two of which are set to play in Ithaca on Sunday. Up until the last week of the season Ohio State ’ s only losses were in overtime. Many overlooked this club against the Ivy champs but as anyone who tuned in Saturday evening found out, their first trip to the tournament in five years was not satisfying enough. Ohio State likes to run, and while they did that all over Cornell, their opponent might be more up to the task on Sunday.

NC's Note: Can Schroeder take it coast to coast again?

Duke comes in the favorites to win their first national championship . There was a time that Greer and Danowski alone were able to fuel this team to greatness, but now the Blue Devils have weapons at every position and can play at both ends. Ohio State will need to have a great day at the face-off x, which may be difficult against Duke ’ s Sam Payton who won 61% of his draws this year. Stefan Schroeder will have to have the game of his career between the pipes for the Buckeyes. The only two losses this Duke team has had in the tournament came from outstanding goalie performances, both by Hopkins ’ Jesse Schwartzman, and still they were narrow one goal defeats. Ohio State ’ s game plan should be to mirror last years championship game performance, which means jumping out to a lead, it ’ s nearly impossible to play catch-up against Duke. They need to dominate possession , which means winning face offs, and make Duke ’ s middies beat you. Ohio State has not shown the type of overall composure to play with Duke for the full 60 minutes. Then again, maybe they just have not had the opportunity. Many teams can hang around for a majority of the game, but Duke will make a run at some point and find separation .

NC Note: Right on, Jay. It's not about preventing Duke from going on a run. It weathering out the inevitable run.

Not much can be said about Duke ’ s plan, as long as they play their game and everyone takes care of the fundamentals and little things, look for Duke to be in Boston next weekend.

Pick: Duke

NCAA Men's Lacrosse Round 2 Preview

The Blue Jay had a rough night also. Let's just say he was wetting his beak a little too much. He did muster up the following thoughts on Round 2...

Virgina vs. Maryland

The first battle of the weekend might be the best. These two teams split during the season with the Terps taking the first meeting 13-7 and the Cavs getting vengeance, 11-8 in the ACC tournament. Maryland might get the underdog support from the unbiased fans in attendance at what may be a record breaking day in Annapolis. There is no question that Virginia is going to score, but the question is how many goals they can give replacement goalie Bud Petit and a mediocre Cavalier defense? The attack of Rubeor, Billings and Glading will get their looks. Cinosky and the Maryland defense will have to keep them away from the crease for either Phipps or Carter.

It will be interesting to see what Maryland and their young offense can do. The key matchup will be Ryan Nizolek on Travis Reed. Nizolek shut him down in the ACC tournament to help hold the Terps to 8 goals. This was a turnaround from the regular season game in College Park where Reed lit it up for 4 goals. Maryland will most likely need double digits to win this one. Also, look for the play of Junior LSM Mike Timms who was one of the few Cavs to have a great game last week against UMBC. While this should be a tight one, Virginia has a core of leaders who have a national championship under their belts, while Maryland hasn’t beaten a team seeded ahead of it in I don’t even know how long.

Pick: Virginia

Johns Hopkins vs. Navy

Despite the sub-par regular seasons for both given the high standards, Saturday afternoon’s game has more hype to it then any of the others. You may ask why this is the case between two teams who combined for double digits in losses. It can be explained in numbers:

65: The combined number of National Championships between the two schools
34: The current Hopkins win streak over Navy
1: Prior to this year, the number of goals each of the previous four games were decided by (2 in OT)
20,000+: Expected attendance
0: The amount of times these teams have faced each other in the post season.

Net Crasher's Note: 15: About how many beers the average in-field watcher will have consumed at Preakness by the time of opening face off in Annapolis.

Throw in the fact that the game is at Navy making it very accessible for fans of both sides, thrown in with the hangover crowd from MD-UVA, and you have the best possible competition to Preakness that lacrosse can offer.

Both schools looked impressive in the opening round. Both received very stellar goaltending and both will look be very deliberate with the ball on Saturday. Don’t expect too much running and gunning when these two teams meet up. Navy’s #1 ranked defense played Hopkins tight in the first half during the regular season match up, but in the third quarter, the Blue Jays erupted on their way to handing the Mids a 12-5 defeat. This was while Navy was in the midst of a three game losing streak (I think Hopkins knows a little about those). You have to expect after a big upset against UNC, a team that handled the Jays at home in a 13-8 drubbing which doesn’t reflect how much UNC dominated, Navy is going to be fired up, especially with the tremendous fan support they’ll receive (You figure Maryland and Virginia can at least agree on wanting Hopkins to go down).

While the anticipated match up is the Hopkins’ midfield against the Navy defense, this game will ride on how Tim Paul and the Navy offense do against Michael Gvozden and the Jays defense. Gvozden had a 16 save performance last time out against Navy, but last time Navy had possibly their worst shooting day of the season. Gvozden has shown consistency, and if the Jays can keep Navy from getting good opportunities it is going to be very difficult to score enough goals to win. Also face-offs will have a major role given the half field games both teams play. Which Stephen Peyser shows up, the one who dominated last year’s tournament or the one who has had problems jumping the whistle all year?

NC's Note: That's not the only that jumped early...Get outta here Sean Connery!

Navy is going to win one of these days, and while they’re 4-2 in one goal games this year vs. Hopkins’ 0-3, Rabil, Peyser and Huntley have done it too many times over the past four years to bet against them, at least in this round.

Pick: Hopkins

NC's Note: Faceoffs really are going to be critical. Possessions will be limited by both teams half-field style, so dominating the X will be a must. Hopkins' ride was very good against Hofstra. Let's see if the JHU attack can continue to foil clearing attempts. Speaking of attack, will Michael Donegar continue to monopolize the front of the opponents net?

Friday Chats: Friday Morning Hangover Edition

It’s a rainy Friday and one of us wishes he stopped taking the coupons for free Malibu drinks at the bar last night. Those damn Malibu girls and their free beads! I feel taken advantage of….

Anyway…

As always there is a lot to talk about this week, so let’s get right to it.

Net Crasher: We are a quarter of the way thought the baseball season and Joe Girardi’s Yankees find themselves in more turmoil than pledge night at Game Misconduct’s sorority house. They are currently in last place in the AL East, Ian Kennedy still hasn’t put it together, and their offense is obviously struggling. Willie Randolph is on the hot seat across the river, but is Joe Girardi also?

I don’t think so. If you recall when Posada and A-Rod went down all of the commentators hedged their expectations and just said the Yankees need to stay afloat until A-Rod and Posada come back. And that’s exactly what they have done. Since A-Rod hit the DL, they have played a challenging schedule that included Detroit, Seattle, Cleveland, and the surging Tampa Bay Rays, and came out one game under .500. Girardi hasn’t hesitated in shaking things up to make that happen.

You certainly can’t blame him for complacency! The Yankees have used 37 different line-ups in 42 games to try to compensate for their massive loss of power. Pete Abraham’s blog gives a great stat that is worth nothing: The catchers (Molina, Moeller, Stuart) and third basemen (Ensberg, Gonzalez and Betemit) are 17 of 92 (.185) with 5 RBI since Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada went out with their injuries. How do you compensate for that?

Similarly, the Yankee starting pitching has been not near what was expected, but Girardi’s management of the Yankee bullpen has been fantastic. As I previously noted, they have only 6 of the Yankees 22 losses and a 3.24 ERA.

So let’s reserve judgment on Joe until he screws something up that he actually is in control of.

Game Misconduct: I'm not a big baseball guy, but when Girardi was hired I was legitimately excited. I was hoping he would turn around what seemed to become a retirement community center. Yes they Yankees two biggest offensive weapons from a year ago are hurt, but there's no buzz surrounding this team. It's obviously not in his control, but the Yankees need to get younger throughout their lineup, and while IPK and Philly Franchise, Joba, Cano, and Melky are a start, they need to continue developing their own prospects or acquiring younger talent. That being said I absolutely LOVE Joba's enthusiasm. It's about time someone showed some passion and emotion out there. I feel like this argument is very old school versus new school, much like NHL goal celebrations. I, for one, am extremely supportive of players showing us that they love what they do and they're excited when they succeed.

NC: I think Girardi has brought energy. He’s cracked down on these veteran players with everything from more strenuous spring training to banning candy from the locker room. They know who is boss. Also, the Yankees aren’t really as old as people think. Giambi is 37, Posada is 36, and Mussina is 39 but that’s about it really. (Mariano is 38 but I don’t think we need to worry about him). Jeter and A-Rod are 33 and 32 respectively and easily have 5 superstar years in them. It’s about underperformance. Damon, for example, is a bad leadoff hitter having not hit over .300 since joining the Yankees with an OBP never cracking .370. I don’t need to harp on Giambi’s problems but you get my point. If Girardi has one fault, it is expectation that these players will go back to their old ways. When the lineup is back in order, Damon needs to drop to the 9 spot to make room for Melky who should lead off.

As for Joba, rock on! That’s his style. As long as it stays on the field – what’s the problem? I think hitters should be more concerned about not letting Joba strike out. I think this is different from Manny Ramierz staring at one of his homers.

GM: Alright let’s change gears to the NHL. Not much to report on the conference finals. The Stars and Flyers are both hanging on by a thread. Let’s take a shot at the awards. We’re going to bring in our old friend Sean Connery to give us a hand…

Sean Connery: You’ll rule the day you crossed me, you two. While I am not busy trying to “entrap” Catherine Zeta Jones I have been enjoying the always exciting National Hockey League. I, of course, watch only on Canadian television because only Don Cherry dresses better than I do. Let’s start with the “holy grail”…HAHA…of individual awards: The Hart Trophy. And the nominees are…

Hart Trophy (MVP): Alex Ovechkin (Washington), Jarome Iginla (Calgary), Geno Malkin (Pittsburgh)

GM: Thanks, Mr. Connery. Before the start of the playoffs, much was made about who would win this award. Would Ovechkin win it without the Capitals making the playoffs? The answer was yes at that point, and after miraculously winning the Southeast Division title the answer remains an emphatic YES. Iginla and Malkin had fantastic seasons, Iginla doing what he always does, and Malkin showcasing that Sid the Kid isn't the only superstar in Steel Town. But this was the year for Alexander the GR8 (Terrible nickname, thanks CCM) who almost scored 70 goals this year. If he had done so I would have been out 20 bucks so I'm glad he didn't.

NC: I am with ya there, Misconduct. You win the Art Ross and the Rocket Richard Trophy and the Hart is in your future.

Sean Connery: Way to go out on a limb there, Mr. Crasher. By the way, I noticed you are sitting down for this discussion. What’s the matter sweaty? Have a date last night?

Vezina Trophy (Best Goalie): Martin Brodeu (New Jersey), Evgeni Nabokov (San Jose), Henrik Lundqvist (New York)

GM: I think all of these goalies had phenomenal years, but JS Giguere deserved to be a finalist. After winning the Cup in June, he came back to lead the Ducks through the regular season without Niedermayer and Selanne and posted great numbers. He was their season long MVP and deserved to be recognized by the rest of the league. Broder and Lundqvist were finalists yet again due to the Eastern bias, but Nabokov should walk away with the hardware.

NC: We agree again. Gigy definitely had a good year, but I like the nominees. All three goalies that got the nod were really the secret to their team's success. Lundquist was streaky at times, but posted a league leading 10 shutouts in front of a flimsy Ranger blue line. Brodeur is Brodeur – strong play and a league lead in games played. But, ranked number one in wins and games played and third in goals against, I got to go with Nabakov

Sean Connery: and I’ll go with the penis mightier! Let’s move on to the Norris trophy, of course named after the storied Texas Ranger.

Norris Trophy (Top Defenseman): Nick Lidstrom (Detroit), Dion Phaneuf (Calgary), Zdeno Chara (Boston)

GM: This won't even be close.

Sean Connery: That’s not what your mother said last night!

GM: What?? Anyway, Lidstrom is absolutely timeless and doesn't slow down. Phaneuf will win one once Nick retires but til then this is his award to lose. Chara proved last season was due to Dave Lewis' coaching and not his physical abilities. Phaneuf wins in the end by getting to hook up with Elisha Cuthbert, but if she's slept with Sean Avery, and Dion sleeps with her, does that mean that he's kind of boning Sean Avery? I've got mental images in my head and it’s not a pretty picture... I'm thinking Lidstrom wins this one too because he probably married some Swedish volley ball player. God Bless the Swedes

Sean Connery: Not a fan of the ladies are you Misconduct?

NC: I don’t think one can understand how good Nick Lindstrom is until you watch him play. He is a phenomenal player. I don’t think I have ever seen him make a mistake on the ice. Granted he is on the best team in the league with Brian Rafalski at the other point, but his 70 points and +40 rating can’t be ignored. Not only did he lead the league in both, but he dominated the league in both. (5 points and +10 ahead of the next D-Man on the list). Phaneuf’s future is bright but he’ll have to wait for the post-Lindstrom era to shine. In the mean time, he should enjoy the girl next door. For the sake of all men everywhere. By the way, I wouldn’t be surprised if Avery were somehow involved with the Miley Cyrus pictures.

Sean Connery: Now how about the young lads? The Calder Trophy…

Calder Trophy (Top Rookie): Pat Kane (Chicago), Nick Backstrom (Washington), Jon Toews (Chicago)

GM: This year was a revival of hockey in Chi-town. With the Sex Cannon

Sean Connery: Yes?

GM: Not you, old man! With the Sex Cannon basically giving away the football at every offensive possession, Chicagoans were looking for a young, fresh, and sexy team to root for, and HORRY KOW did they get just that. The Blackhawks are no longer a joke and these two youngsters have led the way. Toews who scored a ridiculous goal (runner up to this one) against Colorado looks like a more physical Joe Sakic type player, he’ll be captain by 2010. Kane and Backstrom had better offensive numbers, and Toews missed some time due to injury but he’s still my pick. Carey Price should have been a finalist.

NC: Price splitting time with Huet certainly hurt his chances, but I definitely expect big things out of him in the future. Mr. Connery do you know what the name “Carey” means?

Sean Connery: Suck it, NetCrasher.

NC: It means “castle-dweller.” Coincidence? I don’t think so. Price is a brick wall. With Kane and Towes, Chicago’s future has to be looking good. But for now, how about Backstrom? He finished only behind Kane with 69 points and led all rookies with 55 assists. He also had a solid +13 rating and scored 4 game winning goals (tied with Kane and a few others there). But one cannot ignore the huge lift, he gave the team. Also with 4 goals, 2 assists, and an average of 20 minutes of ice time per game in the playoffs, Backstom was a huge benefit to his team’s surprising success.

Well, that's it for this week. Plenty more in the days to come including NCAA Lacrosse, a Stanley Cup Preview, Sean Avery's muffin recipe, and the Willie Randolph's rough season.

Sean Connery: That's the way your mother likes it!

The Blue Jay's Back: Lessons from Round 1

The ever elusive Blue Jay has given me his top ten lessons learned from the opening round of the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Championships. Round two will be this weekend on ESPU and promise to be very exciting. Check it out if you can…

1. The GWLL was not overrated: Many thought that with three teams being represented, the GWLL, was receiving too much credit. With Notre Dame knocking off one of the hottest teams in the nation in Colgate, Ohio State blowing out higher seeded Cornell on their home field, and Denver playing Maryland tight to the very end, the GWLL is the second best conference this year, behind the ACC.

2. UMBC is the real deal: Even with an 11 game win streak to close the year there were many doubters about whether UMBC was a top-flight team. Despite 3 overtime wins and a historic 11-2 comeback for a 14-13 win over Albany in the America East Championship game (after losing top scorer Ryan Smith early in the contest to a torn ACL), the Retrievers were sent down to Charlottesville where they very nearly knocked of another higher ranked ACC team in the first round. (Last year, they defeated Maryland at College Park ) They lost to the second seeded Cavaliers, 10-9. UMBC has wins over two of the remaining teams in the tournament (Maryland and Ohio State) and also defeated first round loser Denver. Coach Don Zimmerman has built a great program at UMBC, who was a win away from the final four last year.

3. Defense wins championships: We saw success from more conservative, half field teams like Hopkins, Notre Dame, Maryland, and Navy, while run-and-gun higher seeds North Carolina and Cornell are done. This was epitomized in the nation’s leading defense, Navy, upsetting free-flowing North Carolina down in Chapel Hill. We even saw offense generated from this defense, as Maryland, Navy and Ohio State all saw goals coming from long sticks, while Ohio State goalie Stefan Schroder even got into the act with an electric coast to coast score to open the contest.

4. Tradition: Since 2003, there have been 5 teams who have made it to the final four more than once, all of whom advanced this past weekend (Hopkins, Virginia, Syracuse, Maryland, and Duke). Throw in a Navy team which made it to the finals in 2004 and you get the idea it isn’t coincidence who came to play this past weekend.

5. The travel rule needs to be amended: Given teams need to be in a given radius to still use a bus, the GWLL situation used up the first round flight limit of two. This forced Canisius to stay up to play third seeded Syracuse while higher ranked Duke and Virginia had much tougher opponents in Loyola and UMBC. Hopkins also drew Hofstra since Baltimore was the only other city within the specified range. Meanwhile North Carolina had to play Navy who upset the Tar Heels while Hopkins handled Hofstra. The point of the playoffs is to find a true and fair champion; teams play in their conferences all year, let them travel a bit for the sake of fairness.

Net Crasher’s Note: Imagine if Loyola or UMBC actually did pull off upsets? (Both teams had opportunities throughout the game to do so) Something tells me Coaches Danowski and Starsia would be dropping lacrosse sticks in favor of pitch forks.

6. Weather Conditions: For better or worse, the weather has created some interesting games in the NCAA tournament. In 2003, a muddy M&T Bank Stadium saw an extremely sloppy championship game, as Tillman Johnson turned out a great performance. Hopkins could not generate much all afternoon, and Virginia won the championship 9-7. Hopkins found themselves the beneficiary of a pair of weather delays in ’05 and ’07. The Jays won a pair of thrilling overtime games over UVA and Notre Dame, both wins coming on the path to national championships. This year the rain came on Sunday, producing an 8-7 comeback overtime win by Notre Dame over Colgate, and a crazy, back and forth 10-9 win for UVA over UMBC at Klockner. It’s funny how the same teams seem to be involved in these contests. Perhaps Virginia or Notre Dame will use the momentum to fuel a run?

Net Crasher Note: UVA-JHU in 2005 was one of the great sports moments of all-time. Go ahead, challenge me…I dare you.

7. Record Breakers: In recent memory, there have been few players as successful as Paul Rabil and Matt Danowski. Both are two time Tawaaraton nominees and locks to be three-time first team All-Americans, and both set meaningful records this weekend. Danowski went for 7 points against Loyola to break Joe Vasta’s career points record of 343. Rabil, with a 4 goal afternoon, got to 101 goals on his career, which broke the Hopkins midfield scoring record, previously held by Dave Huntley. (Father of Rabil’s teammate and classmate, Kevin Huntley)

8. Living (at-)Large: Of the three unseeded teams which gained at-large births (Ohio State, Denver and Navy), two were victorious, and the third, Denver, as mentioned earlier certainly earned their keep. I think this shows the selection committee did a fine job when deciding between bubble teams, despite the initial backlash from the selections.

9. Goaltending: It is very difficult to win a championship unless your goalie can play well throughout the playoffs. Often times, we see it’s a spectacular effort from the goalie that will lead teams to victory on Memorial Day. Tillman Johnson did it for Virginia in ’03, and Jesse Schwartzman, despite being only a slightly better than average goalie his career, was huge in championship games over Duke in ’05 and ’07. All three of these accounts lead to tournament MVP’s for said goalies. This weekend, the most impressive performance was turned in by a team who lost, Colgate, as Tim Harrington made 18 saves on 24 shots. No keeper took over a game (in victory, at least) in the first round. Consistent with the parity all season, we have still yet to see which goalie is going to step up and take over this tournament.

NC’s Note: Keep your eyes on Joey Kemp out of Notre Dame. He was playing like a man possessed at the end of the Colgate Game. Hopkins goalie Michael Gvozdan also has a lot to prove. His performance in the tournament will likely prove whether he is the rightful successor to Schwartzman.

10. Warrior: Warrior has perhaps launched the most ridiculous advertising campaign…ever. I guess it’s a step up from seeing the K-18 commercial on repeat with Kyle Harrison doing fitness drills around Baltimore.

NC Note: Check out one of the commercials here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rB9jLyuhHo

No Money, No Stars, No Problem

What has to be THE story of the young 2008 baseball season is the continued success of small market, low payroll teams. We’ve seen the crazy records and stats early in the season before, and we don’t pay much attention to the Orioles undefeated record if they start 3-0 or start chanting MVP when Joey Gathright is hitting .670 in the first week of the season. Baseball fans understand that baseball is a long season and things even out in the end. It’s “win 60, lose 60” as the old adage goes. (Don't you think that they could have squeezed that line into Field of Dreams?)So, we are now a month in and some of those teams that are supposed to take their inevitable slide haven’t.

Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays ($43,422,997, 29^th in the league)

Yes, I think Carl Crawford is a superstar, but I think the casual fan would be hard pressed to name another player on the Rays. Still, they hit just .5 game behind the Red Sox for first place in the AL East. Their 6 games over .500 record is the best in franchise history and they are in the top ten in just about ever relevant offensive and pitching statistical category. How do they do it? After all, the Yankees line-up has been getting similar production yet are looking up (and scratching their heads) at the Rays.

It all comes down to pitching. The Rays young starters all average over six innings per start, which keeps their bullpen fresh. James Shields has already thrown two complete games. This has allowed their bullpen to combine for only six of their sixteen losses. Anchored by Troy Percival who has 9 saves and a 1.93 ERA, the Rays are not giving opposing line-ups a break.

Oakland A’s ($47,167,126 payroll, 28^th in the league)

Best record in the AL! Is this a Moneyball Renaissance? The formula is the same the Rays. Their starters have been able to consistently go long, not quite as long as the Rays, but that’s ok since their bullpen is 8-2 with a 2.79 ERA. Huston Street is 9 for 11 in save opportunities with 18 K’s in 16 IP. The A’s have the third lowest runs against total in baseball with only 145 RA.

Minnesota Twins ($ 56,932,766 payroll, 25^th in the league)

Johann who? With the White Sox and Tigers becoming powerhouses most believed the Twins dominance of the AL Central had come to an end. But if you notice the pattern here, Livan Hernandez and company have led the Twins atop their division. The starting rotation is .500 at 13-13 with a 4.68 rotation – nothing special there. But their bullpen is 7-4 with a 3.32 ERA and Joe Nathan is a perfect 12 for 12 in saves with a 1.93 ERA. The Twins find themselves in the bottom half of the league with only 165 runs scored but are still pitching their way out of games.

So are these teams all going to make the playoffs? Will the Yankees and Red Sox outslug the Rays for the AL East title? Will the Angels and Tigers land more superstars at the trade deadline to surpass the A’s and Twins? These scenarios are quite possible. The season is, of course, still very young. So what can we take way from these statistics?

I think it’s pretty obvious. Consistent pitching is the key to winning. The ability for starters to go long keeps the bullpen fresh and avoids the dreaded “big inning.” Bad performances from the bullpen are not merely the consequence of bad pitchers in the bullpen (as Yankee fans often get overly caught up with). Granted, a team’s best pitchers are on the starting staff but factors such as overuse and being brought in to pitch in the middle of innings can equally contribute.

If you have already figured out that this is a not-so-veiled criticism of the Yankees then you are one smart cookie. Hank Steinbrenner needs to stop complaining about how the “pitching experiment” is not working and how we need to start signing free agents. Maybe the dynasty Yankees did have a lot of free agent pitching, but those pitchers were not former all-stars whose good outings culminated in being lifted in the 5^th inning. The great “free agents” like David Cone were workhorses (Cone threw 146 pitches in Game of the 1995 ALDS). It seems if Steinbrenner had his way, Randy Johnson (44 years old) and David Wells (45 years old) would back in pinstripes. So let’s put down out checkbooks and wait and see what happens.

Please have mercy on us

Dear Mr. Sather,
Being in the media giant that is New York for the past several years you must have made some connections with very high powered individuals. Through these connections I’m sure you’ve met your share of television executives. Now many of the network television stations run reality programs such as “Dancing With the Stars” and “America’s Got Talent.” Now I implore you to use these connections to save your team from another year of playoff follies. “How” you ask? The answer is simple. Allow Ryan “Hollywood” Hollweg to leave the team in order to join one of these shows. He’s proven on MSG that he can dance better than Jason Taylor, so please allow Ryan to fulfill his dream of being a Hollywood starlet and fulfill his destiny. Thank you.

The Weekend Wrap: Chris Farley, The Cross Bronx Expressway, and How a Father's Love Won the Revolutionary War

Sometime during the 9 hours I spent on the couch on Saturday, I realized this was a great weekend for sports - plenty of exciting action going on. In case you were busy shopping for mom or dozing off on the couch (as I was), here is what we learned this weekend…

Early Leads for the Favorites in the NHL Playoffs

• The Pens and the Red Wings are legit after dominating both games 1 and game 2
• Gino Malkin punching Derian Hatcher in the face is further evidence that he is one of the best all-around players in the game.
• The Flyers blue line is starting to look like the Continental Army in The Patriot. Can Jaroslav Modry be Philly’s Benjamin Martin?
• Detroit clearly doesn’t have enough offense. They have had 6 different players score each of their six goals this series.
• No one envies Marty Turco (32 saves on 34 shots in Game 2)
• Both conference finals may not go as deep as we originally thought, but hey, Red Wings- Penguins is looking pretty exciting right now.

So Much NCAA Lacrosse

• Notre Dame is now 1-1 in first round games in the rain that go to overtime (and improve to 1-0 under such conditions at home)
• UMBC is a legit program who will continue to improve.
• Johns Hopkins knows how to spell redemption (R-A-B-I-L)
• Canisus? Anyone know where that is? Did they have a game yesterday?
• Bucknell played Army on Saturday – unfortunately it was not in lacrosse (they were two deserving teams who I am sure we have not heard the last of)
• Denver proved that the west can play lacrosse also just not quite as well as the east
• Ohio State showed that Ivy League lacrosse is not what it used to be. (Cornell’s loss is a tough set-back for a promising program)
• Navy made sure there was one solid upset this year

Darrell Rasner is Benjamin Martin…or at least Aaron Small

• Darrell Rasner improves to 2-0 holding both Seattle and Detroit to 2 runs in 6 innings.
• Rasner’s performance is further evidence that the Yankees can’t keep thinking in terms of Chamberlain-Hughes-Kennedy. They have a generation of solid, young pitching waiting in the wings. It would be foolish to not ensure that each got a fair shot.
• Robbie Cano is on a six game hitting streak. Not quite batting on the interstate yet – let’s say he is still stuck in traffic on the Cross Bronx.
• Jason Giambi is hitting .333 with vast increases in on base percentage in his last seven games. I am upgrading him from “useless” to “not exactly hurting us.” Let’s see how long he stays there.

…That’s Spanish for “THE NINO”

• Sergio Garcia will win have at least one big tournament victory under his belt
• I need to do better at not falling asleep when the final group is on the 72^nd (and 73^rd) hole.
• TPC Sawgrass is one beautiful course. I would pretty much give anything to hit a couple wedges into the 17th green. (ok maybe a nine iron!)
• If Paul Goydos can be that cool about losing a tournament I have no business throwing my putter in the bunker after three-putting a birdie putt.
• In golf, the better player always wins. You can get all of the bounces you want; the player who hits the ball best from tee to green wins the tournament. This week, it was Sergio. Garcia led the field in driving accuracy and greens in regulation, which compensated for his average putting performance.

American Gladiators or American 'Roided up Killing Machines?

We all know about how on the original American Gladiators, the Gladiators openly used to admitting steroid abuse. Barry Bonds could learn a thing or two from them about honesty, but the 2007 reincarnation of the show made no such claims. In the first season, Monica Carlson (above), a 32 year-old mother set AG records and was embraced by all for her “can-do” attitude and the fact that she was a non-roided out freak of nature. She was hot and cute and a former Trailblazer dancer (anyone willing to work for that franchise deserves some level of respect). Here’s her bio from the first season:

“Monica Carlson is a 32-year-old mother of 8-year-old twins and a former Portland Trailblazer dancer. Growing up "American Gladiators" was her favorite show. Her husband is a football coach and athletics plays a large part in the family. One of 11 kids growing up, Monica is in great shape and loves competition. She currently lives in Milwaukie, Oregon.”

Well Monica went on to win and was promoted to be a Gladiator in the show’s second season. Here is her current photo gallery. Is that really the same person? I can understand working out strenuously for 8 months can really help, but I’m scared that she would tear my head off now. It’s like that Family Guy episode where Lois learns karate, kicks Peter’s ass in the bedroom, and at some point Stewie hits Peter in the head with a baseball bat. I imagine her home is a lot like that.

Friday Chat Part Deux

Thought we were done - did ya? We still have some MLB shenanigans to take care of. We'll kepp our friends from TGIF out of this one and leave it to the pros.

Net Crasher: For the last time....you can't have Al from Step by Step be your new partner. That was a one shot deal and you got stuck with Cody. Next time, maybe you'll know better. Anyway, Mr. Misconduct, let's turn our attention to a little situation brewing in Cincinnati. Apparently, Ken Griffey Jr. is not happy on a team who has had one winning season since he signed with them. He is asking for a trade. Should the Reds let the Grif pack his bags?

Game Misconduct: It’s been nothing but bad news since he joined the Reds. It’s killed my fantasy team year after year. Who goes to Cincinnati as a free agent anyway? That’s like going to Sizzler when you could have gone to Peter Luger’s to get a delicious steak. Griffey should have shot his agent, MarHar style. This guy should have gone down as one of the best hitters of all time, but… aw who cares?! All you need to know is Cincinnati was probably the worst city he could have chosen to play in.

Crasher: Missy, I don’t blame Griffey bad numbers on his time in Cincy. It’s all about injuries. Grif played under 100 games in 4 seasons. So essentially, he is a 38 year old but should really be 35 or so statistically – now we see another reason why ‘roids are such an issue. Recovery time! Grif stayed clean and paid for it. That said, the-soon-to-be member of the 600 HR club should leave Cincy. The man deserves a championship or at least a run at one. His last real run was in 1995. Not to mention, the Reds could certainly use a shake-up on their team. My guess is that Grif will want an East coast team that can contend in the short-term. Among Grif’s reasons for leaving Seattle was the distance for his family who lived in Orlando and his dad who lived in Cincinnati. The biggest question is on position though. Most contenders are set when it comes to a center fielder. Assuming outfield positions could be juggled around, I could see the Mets, Red Sox, White Sox, and Braves in the hunt. Sure would love to see him in pinstripes…

Misconduct: Maybe he should have ‘roided up. Griffey is certainly a Hall of Famer but was once talked about breaking records back in the 90’s. Now the only record people want to see him break is the 100 game plateau. Can you magine the numbers this guy would have had if he had stayed healthy? It’s really a shame because Griff seemed like a good person off the field and a better ambassador to the game than say McGwire, Clemens, or Giambi. If he wants to take a run at a ‘ship, would the Yanks really be a viable option? They’re around .500 and in the ultra competitive AL it’s going to be hard locking up a playoff spot with the way they’re playing. I’m thinking this is a rebuilding year for the Yanks and it’s time to shed the old baggage and let the youth grow and play. It’s working for the Rangers, it should work for the Yankees and their fans.

Crasher: The Yankees are rebuilding their pitching but that doesn’t mean they need to keep youth in their line-ups. They really don’t. Melky Cabrera and Robinson Cano are really the only two young position players that are in regularly. A trade (likely involving Matsui or Damon) for Griffey could help to jump start and the continuingly underperforming Yankee offense. In the “arms race” of power hitting, the Tigers and Red Sox easily rival the Yanks. This would help to set them apart. I agree this would make the Yanks even older but may not be a bad way to keep them competitive.

Speaking of old guys in pinstripes how about David Wells? The soon-to-be 45 year old south paw has been throwing BP for his son’s high school team to keep in shape. Could he be a one year fill-in for the injured/struggling Yankee rotation? Hank Steinbrenner didn’t rule it out. He talked about seeing him on TV and thinking, “It just might work.” Misconduct, let’s hope he doesn’t have Little Big League or Angels in the Outfield on his Netflix.

Misconduct: I was sure that by the age of 45 David Wells would have lived so hard and fast that he’d be dead. If that had happened he would have gone down as one of the greatest athletes to call NY home. But now he’s just another in a growing list of past their prime warriors wanting one last shot at glory. As we can see by the Yankees record, Major League hitters are a lot different than some random high school. Additionally, look at the older Yankee pitchers (i.e. Pettite and Mussina). Sure their numbers aren’t terrible but they’re no longer the aces they once were and probably wouldn’t be in the Majors if it weren’t for the Yankees looking more like a retirement home than a baseball team. Wells should have filed his retirement papers years ago. It’s one thing for a 46 year old Chelios to keep playing because he keeps himself in freakishly good shape, but Wells has NEVER been one to concern himself with his personal health, so I just don’t see it happening. Or at least I don’t want it to happen. In closing, bring back Bernie Williams!

Crasher: In this Roger Clemens/Barry Bonds era its makes the antics of David Wells a little more laughable than the used to be. I would love to see Boomer come back – it would be a blast! But let’s been realistic hear, the Yankees have made some major sacrifices (namely not getting Santana) in favor of developing young pitching. Let’s remember that this is more than just Chamberlin, Hughes, and Kennedy. There are a number of solid young pitchers in the Yankee system who don’t have their best stuff now, but who knows what happens when they get to the majors. Young guns like Alan Horne, Darrell Rasner (who looks to go 2-0 on Sunday), Jeff Karstens, and Chase Wright all have potential to be big league pitchers. I’d rather see these guys combine for a .500 record and a 5.00 ERA as the Yankee’s fifth starter than for Boomer to put up the same numbers in his “victory lap.” I find it concerning that Hank Steinbrenner actually said (Brian Cashman, take a deep breath...),

"What sticks out in my mind, that team in the late '90s, the starting pitching," he said. "You had [David] Cone, El Duque [Orlando Hernandez Orlando Hernandez ], Wells . . . they were all big-game pitchers. They all came from elsewhere - not in the system.

"Everybody talks about the great players from the farm system that we had in the '90s, but it was the starting rotation. That was a huge part of the success. Huge."

And don’t count out Pettite and Moose, the Yanks would be in the cellar right now if not for them!

Well that does it for the Friday chat. Same time, same place next week.

Good night, Canada!